Ok, so it seems - I mean this is only what I've observed - is that most people take the route with Merrill where you say yes to everything she says, romance her and she ends up staying with you.
I've had lengthy discussions on this - it seems to me that if the player, who's the only one who has the ability to change the outcome of this mess, chooses the path where he encourages Merrill to persue her obsession with the Eluvian, never objecting and never saying no, it is definitely bad not only for her clan but ultimately for Merrill herself. It may seem that the player gets what he wants - he or she gets Merrill to his or herself, no more objections from the clan and she is devoted to the player's character. But to me this is actually the worst outcome possible. In real life, no one could say you were really being a friend to Merrill by encouraging her to follow a prolonged demon-forged path that resulted in not only her Keeper but her entire clan getting killed, and end up standing there going on about that the reason it happened was because they wouldn't listen to her. To me, the wrongness of this is implacable. You end up with a dead keeper, a dead clan and an elf who refuses to take responsibility that her actions had anything to do with it, and who looks at you for complete validation for everything she is. It's horribly unhealthy, and something a demon would want to do to someone to shape them into a tool determined to release it.
At first I was so disgusted by this that I thought that Merrill was bad in some way, or crazy - but really I will admit I was wrong. It's you as the player in the game that determines how this goes, but I'm not quite done yet with the end of my first playthrough, and am already wanting to play it differently and am considering pursuing the rivalry path.
So, back to my question - if instead you choose to rival her, which from what I understand is not the same as hatred or antagonism, though many (including me) may have thought so, does this come out better for Merrill in terms of her well being? Meaning, yes, while you may not get her 100% devoted to you, would it be the best thing for her to be in the first place?
Also, please advise on the rivaly romance. I've read that you can romance her while she is in rivalry, which while may seem illogical, some people are the best couples who fight.|||I rivaled Merrill. Yes, I thought she was very stupid, but it turns out that she was already compromised when she meets Hawke. She did appear sane, however. It's impossible to hate her though.
Friendship or Rivalry, when you hit 100% of either, a character is completely devoted to your cause. They do not agree with you all the time, but they respect your opinion. Fenris is another case where some of the conversations can appear bitter, and by supporting Anders and mages in general it seems you are flying in the face of everything Fenris hates. But if he's 100% rival, he will still totally back your play in Act 3.
SPOILERS, indeed -
There are things in the game that do not change, no matter what you do, and this is perhaps the only gripe I have that remains about DA2. You will have to kill the Arishok, Anders is going to go all Unabomber on the Chantry and Merrill is going to have to kill the Keeper, who will get possessed in order to save Merrill from the demon in the mirror.
Merrill is under the influence of a Pride demon and is unable to accept that her actions will result in disaster. She thinks she is wise enough, has been careful enough, and won't fall prey to what clearly killed Tamlin.
If you Rival her, you spend the game feeling like you are kicking a puppy. It feels worse if Anders and Fenris are in the party with you and Merrill as they will also jump in and unload on Merrill for her misguided notion that she can come out the winner while dealing with demons.
If you are in a friendship or rivalry with her, you have an equal chance to avoid violence, or wind up slaughtering every Dalish on the Sundermount after the confrontation with the Pride demon and the Keeper. Even as a rival, I thought what Fenris and Anders said to her after that battle and all the way home to Kirkwall was incredibly harsh. But considering the price paid for playing with the Eluvian, they were not entirely wrong.
For a rivalry, I kept Merrill out of the party for any of Anders personal quests, and once she brings up the mirror, disagree with her every step of the way. When she asks for your help getting the tool, be short and blunt rather than supportive, but go with her. After the task the Keeper gives you is complete, refuse to give the tool to Merrill. Just don't. It royally pisses her off, in that cute Merrill way. When you talk to her in her house later, continue to stand by your earlier decision and she kicks you out of her house, and you find the whole party standing out in the street in the Alienage. I was so surprised by this I laughed pretty hard at the thought of tiny Merrill tossing Hawke, Anders and Fenris out the door. I haven't encountered a break point that causes her to leave the companions entirely.
Later on she will break the mirror, only the difference is that she will tell you that you were right all along.
For a Rival-mance, I still flirted with Merrill during her Questioning Beliefs quests and when giving her the two gifts. The mechanics work the same as most other romances in the game. You just have to dig in about the mirror and blood magic to maintain rivalry and avoid conversations with others she would approve of (Anders, mostly). When you reach a certain point in Act 2, like Fenris she will turn up at your mansion and force the romance issue. I hadn't planned on it, and was surprised by it, considering how harsh my M!Hawke was in conversations, but there she is and you can accept by flirting, or shut her down in the hallway. After the romance scene you can opt to continue it, or kick her (almost literally) out of bed and end it.
As squabbling couples (Rival-mance) go, Fenris is the best material for that - he gives as good as he gets in an argument. I can't shake the puppy-kicking feeling of fighting with Merrill.|||Yes, rivalry is much better for her in the end. She gives up on the mirror and blood magic. She also feels regret for her clan instead of disgust. You basically help her see the error of her ways instead of enabling her.
Rivalry makes no difference in the romance as long as you make sure to max it out completely. Basically take a hard stance against her using blood magi and refuse to help her repair the mirror. She also gains rivalry if you send mages to the circle and generally denounce magic. Merril feels frustrated with you at times for not supporting her, but she still likes Hawke and you do feel like they have a good relationship despite their disagreements.
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